I am who I am...I am human...my family is human. Are you human?

We as humans are very judgmental people. We judge people on their looks, their financial class, occupation, cars they drive, color, habits, choices they make just because we do not understand them and sadly which team they pull for on Saturdays. Being a judgmental person isn't something I have struggled with. NO, I didn't say I haven't done it. NOR did I say I will not be guilty of it again. BUT just like everything else some  folks struggle more than others. Everyone knows a few of them- that arrogant person who thinks they are always right about EVERYTHING and everyone else is wrong. To this person, nothing and I mean nothing anyone else does is ever "right".  These people can not accept people for who they are UNLESS they are just like them.
As in every situation there are always circumstances that do not fall into the norm, I understand that.
Some might say that I am being judgmental by pointing this out. I am just stating the obvious...a known fact. WOW, there is a word to think about.. FACT....FACTS.
FACT-a true piece of information/knowledge or information based on real occurrences.
My family just went through a change. A change that many others in history have gone through and many more will go through in the days to come. In this change there have been many ups and downs...and there will be more to come. My family is working through this, probably better than most do and or will. I didn't say it was easy, BUT we are dealing with the changes the way we see best for all involved...which means our family.
 I do however believe that the hardest part of this change has been the outsiders (sadly some we use to call friends) who do NOT know FACTS who take it upon themselves to JUDGE me, judge us. I do not claim to be perfect, nor do I claim for my family to be perfect for we are all human. So my advice to those who have pulled away, turned up your nose, chose not to speak when spoken to....I will pray for you. I will pray that when you go through a change, cause it will happen,  any kind of change, one of choice, one you could not control, one that NO ONE could possibly understand because they are NOT you nor have they lived your life, your journey, that you too have the strength to get through it with the few friends and family members that show their love and support.
When my brother was diagnosed with cancer he said " now I must decipher between the caring and the curious. I will cling to the caring and kick the curious to the curb." Well folks, enjoy your seat on the curb.

Hope Is Not A Strategy

I recently had someone say "Hope Is Not A Strategy". This is actually the title to a book I plan to read but think about this statement. Hope is NOT a strategy.  So many times in good and bad situations we  say "I sure HOPE that doesn't happen". Is there anything you can do to make sure what you are referring to doesnt happen?  If the answer is yes, then do it. "I sure hope we make it on time". Ok, then leave early, plan ahead. "I sure hope I pass this test". Ok, then study. In my work place I can not sit back and hope my sells improve. I have to work. I am my own PR person for myself and my products. I must take action. When you are dating someone you don't just hope it will go good, that they will like you, that they will enjoy being around you. You must back that hope up with actions. You don't really think you just hope to keep your job if you are NOT  DOING your job? You don't really think you can just hope to keep your friends if you are not BEING a friend? If you were the boss would you keep that employee on board if they always said "I sure hope we get that contract"  and they never made any effort to close the deal? No, because their actions must back up their hope.

Do not get me wrong, hope is a wonderful thing. There have been times hope is all I felt I had. All I am saying is do not JUST hope for something. Do not JUST hope for a change.  Do not JUST hope to be happy. Do not JUST hope to be better at something. Do not JUST hope, hope is NOT a strategy. You must back your hope up with actions.

Oh and think about this. We all hear  " it is what it is". Now I say, " it is what it is UNTIL you do something about it." Again...actions.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Change...it happens

Look up the meaning to the word "change". You will see things  like "to become different", "transform" and "alter."  We as humans for the most part fear change, resist change. We get so comfortable in our ways, our routines, our lives. We have all heard that the only constant thing is change and it is true.

Everything around us is constantly changing. The weather is constantly changing. From sunshine to rain isn't always the best change UNLESS you are in a drought. But if you are planning an outdoor event, that change isn't a good one. From rain to sunshine! This change will be good for some and not for others just depends on the circumstances of each individual.

The economy is always changing. Again, good for some and bad for others. Right now, probably most of us agree, it's not so good.

The demands of our job, again always changing. Some people may gain responsibilities and others might have their load lightened. Good for some, bad for others.
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I'm heading to the beach soon and there is a storm brewing in the gulf. If it rains while I am there, my plans will change. I can either be mad or deal with it. That is up to me.

Some change we play a part in, some just happens and we must deal with it. My brother no longer being in my life is a change I had no control of. The cancer controlled that change. That change effected me on many levels. But I learned a lot from that change. I learned I am strong. I learned again that without God I could not have made it through that. I learned who my true friends and supporters are through their actions and words during that change. I am changed because of that change I could not control. I could have very easily crawled in a ditch and never come out because of that change. I refuse to let that change in my life control me. That change has made me realize how precious life is, and I need to live it.

My oldest son is starting college. My youngest son is changing schools. This is a change for all of us. I believe it is a change that is going to have a great outcome but it is still a change.

While some changes are by choice and some forced upon us we must really look at what is changing and how it effects everyone. Some changes will cause everyone in the situation "to become different" on one level or another. Some changes will "alter" one or many people, some for the better and some may not see it that way. Some changes will "transform" those involved. Again, some changes we have control over, some we don't. I do however believe it is up to us as individuals to make sure changes that happen for us or to us "alter" things for the better, "transform" us into who we need to be, to create us "to become different."  I'm not by any means saying we must love or even like the change but we must not let the change control us, destroy us or define us.  We must allow that change to make us better, "transform" us into who we should be.

Somethings changing arent easy, won't always be fun and won't always be accepted but are a must in life.

Things change that is a fact. How we are going to handle that change is the real question. Allow it to help us become who we need to become or allow it to destroy us? 

Change...it happens 

Are You Sad?

Every time something is brought up about my son who will be graduating from high school in 16 days the next thing someone ask is "are you sad?" I understand why they ask the question, I really do.  My answer is no. How can I be sad? Yes time is flying by. Yes it only seems like yesterday that he had his binky and mr bear. Yes it only seems like yesterday when I was taking him to his first baseball practice. But am I sad? No. I can not be sad. My son Preston has worked so hard on and off the field. He has earned every scholarship by staying focused and working hard over the years. He actually had someone tell him 4 years ago that he would never play high school or college ball and to give up his dream. He did play high school baseball and played it well. He has signed to play at the college level. So I am not sad, but proud. Yes, I cried at his last high school baseball game. Yes, I cried at his senior speech. Yes, I will cry at his graduation. These are tears of a mom being proud. Yes the first night I go to kiss him good night and I realize he is in the dorm I will probably cry...ok, I WILL cry. Again, tears of happiness that my son has accomplished his dreams at this point. That he is moving on to that next chapter of his life, the next phase of his journey. I can not wait to see what all he will accomplish, what all he will experience.
My kids are grounded Christian young men. They are human, they will stumble and they will fall. I am blessed to be their mom and will be there for them on any level they need me to be. They are both growing up and moving on through the chapters of their lives. They are  learning a lot of life's lessons along the way,they are also teaching me some life lessons as well. Life is going to happen no matter my emotion, sad, happy, mad or proud. I am going to try and just focus on the proud emotion that I feel about my children and stay away from the sad one.
So am I sad? I choose no...I choose proud.

"men are what their mothers made them" Ralph Waldo Emerson

The Sounds Of My Music

I love music, all kinds of music, I always have.  Sometimes it is the tune-the soothing piano, the whine of the guitar or the beat of the drum. Sometimes it's the lyrics I find myself enjoying-God is love/your amazing, just the way you are-Just The Way You Are/When I close  my eyes, I feel you here with me-Here With Me/All At Sea Where No one Can Bother Me-All At Sea/Surrounded by Your glory what will my heart feel-I can only imagine/We pour out our miseries God just hears a melody- Better Than A Hallelujah/How Sweet It Is To Be Loved By You/But you went away, how dare u? I miss you-Over You/Your home forever now-Birmingham/I will praise you in this storm-Praise You In This Storm/ are some examples. I constantly have music playing.

I am hearing impaired. As my hearing ability continues to decline I find myself listening to music "harder" if you will. I will actually close my eyes and just focus on every part of the song.  Again, it might be the tune, or the beat or the words I'm in tune with, but I am listening "hard". More and more I am finding how songs I have listened to a thousand times are touching my heart, making me think because I am listening, really listening. I am also finding some great new songs to throw in the mix.

As a small child I can remember watching & listening to my dad and my brother play the guitar and sing with one of my sisters. I can also remember going to a few country concerts with my folks which I really enjoyed. I contribute me falling in love with music to my family. Yep, it's their fault.

I feel like my boys have inherited this love for music. They are always listening to music, and like me, a lot of different kinds. I think the listening to different types of music is important as well. Each song is an experience..some good...some bad...some you include in your favorites and others you give the thumbs down and move on.

I love the fact that recently my uncle gave my youngest son a guitar. He picks at it a little but really wants to learn to play. My youngest also enjoys hanging out with my dad and listening to bluegrass. See, it is my dads fault. LOL

 Songs are someone else's story put to music but at times it fits our story. It may even be our story someone has put to music. Just because you sing  along or even just listen it doesn't  mean it will dictate how your story goes. To some that song is just a song. To others it maybe a song of hope or encouragement. I actually know some people who don't listen to music. I realize it is because it might make you think of a bad or sad memory or the words might be a little to convicting. For these folks I say, change the channel, put in a different cd, add new music to your iPod but do not shut out music. Music can be so healing....so let it heal you. Let the music work it's magic on you. Who knows maybe, just maybe you will begin to tap your toes, snap your fingers and sing a long. There is absolutely nothing like being in a funk and have one of your favorite tunes come on..turn it up and sing your heart out. Throw in a 30 second dance party....I swear you will feel better.

So the sounds of my music include folks/groups like Mercy Me, Jamie Cullum, Adele, Drive-By Truckers, Third Day,Big Tent Revival, Miranda Lambert,Collective Soul, Amy Grant, Carrie Underwood, Ed Roland & The Sweet Tea Project, U2,Skrillex, John Mayer,Michael W. Smith, Casting Crowns, Christina Aguilera, and of course James Taylor. So why I can blame my family for helping me fall in love with music, these folks keep me falling in love.

So what's the sound of your music?

Whatever it is...play it often...play it loud....sing your heart out and don't forget to dance!

I Saw A Sign Today....

All of my  life I have been that person who looks for "signs".Everything and anything I do,I am looking for a "sign" to help me make the right decision. I often find myself looking for "signs" of hope.I look for "signs" that things are going to be okay. It is not always easy to see the signs. Sometimes I am sure that God wants to hit me up side the head with a billboard because I keep walking around,over and through the sign He has given me.Sometimes these "signs" are not a literal word, although they can be. Sometimes the "signs" come in the form of a thought that just pops into my head; a repeated sighting of an object (like an owl, another blog for another day) a converstation a friend or stranger initiates with me; a book or song title; a word in a song that I have listened to a million times but never really HEARD and of course "signs" come to me in dreams-some while I sleep and dreams while I am wide awake. 
This morning as I was driving to work I was talking out loud to God and my brother, who lives in heaven, like I do on most days. I was asking questions, what to do about this, how to handle this, should I do it this way or that way. I can picture both of them looking at each other and shaking their heads as if to say "please stop talking". My brother always had the answers for me. He never once even hesitated when I ask for his thoughts, opinion or advice. His wisdom just rolled off of his tongue. I miss that.
I continued to ask them questions all the way to my first stop. I walked into my first appointment and was motioned to go through the door into the next waiting area. I went in, sat down and waited. As I stood to greet the person I was to be meeting with something on the wall caught my eye. It was a picture on the wall that said "In a world where YOU can be anything...Be YOURSELF." The best part of this was there was a small owl included in this picture. For those of you who know me, you totally get that. For those of you who dont know me...the owl is my brother. I will explain that in another post, on another day. BUT for now, I know that today, I ask the questions and I got the sign..I got my answer.



Do you believe in signs?

I used to wait for a sign, she said, before I did anything. Then one night I had a dream & an angel in black tights came to me & said, you can start any time now, & then I asked is this a sign? & the angel started laughing & I woke up. Now, I think the whole world is filled with signs, but if there's no laughter, I know they're not for me.
Brian Andreas